The Good Samaritan

I attend a church called 'Highrock' on Sundays. I first went to Highrock about a year and a half ago and have been in love with it since. It's the first church I've ever gone to where the sermons always resonates with me on Mondays as much as it did Sunday. The church always leave me wanting for more, igniting an even deeper hunger for truth and for the word of God. I want to share my Sunday experiences at Highrock with all of you, so I'll try my best to recapture what I take away from the sermons after I hear them.

Yesterday, Pastor Dave Swaim preached on the parableof the Good Samaritan.

First a man asks Jesus, "How can I inherit eternal life?"

Typical Jesus, whom always answers a question with a question, says back to him, "what's in the law, did you read it"?

Guy responds, "Yup. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, strength and soul. And love your neighbor as yourself."

Jesus responds, "Good job, dude. Now go do this, and you'll live."

Guy wants to clarify, so he asks, "Who's my neighbor?"

And also in typical Jesus fashion, Jesus replies with a parable. The story goes a little something like this:

A man is heading from Jerusalem to Jericho & is beaten and robbed and left for dead on the side of the road. A priest first walks by, sees the man, then keeps walking. A Levite also walks by, sees the man, and walks on the other side. Lastly, a Good Samaritan passes, he helps the man, takes him to the inn, takes care of him, gives the innkeeper money to look after him as well, and takes care of all the expenses. (For a non-butchered version)

I think everyone, Christians and Non, have all heard of this parable. All I've ever taken away from it is that you should never leave a dead man hanging on side of road and should always do good for strangers. What I love about Pastor Dave's sermons is that he always goes beyond what meets the eye.

P. Dave explains, there is only one road from Jerusalem to Jericho, and it is not an easy one. It is not a common path, it's a path far less taken. It is also a difficult road - desserted and barren and steep with a lot of thieves lounging around. So when one decides to make this path, it is for a very important purpose. No doubt, the priest and levite are godly men. Godly men with a very important mission, so important, that they could not be bothered to stop along the way for a beaten man on the road.

He went to relate this with people who aspire to do good in the world, who aspire to make a difference -- but plan to do this in a different land and at a later time. People willing to lend a helping hand in a foreign land, but when it's in their town, eh, not so much. For instance, in churches, a lot of people choose to go on missionaries in far off lands; China, Costa Rica, Mexico. Now I know P. Dave isnt knocking on mission trips, but he's trying to bring to light how we can do the same thing the next street over, that which we want to do in other countries. That while it may be more 'exciting' and 'exotic' to preach the gospel in Beijing, it is all the more necessary to do it here. But 'doing' it here is nowhere as thrilling, and it requires time, and committment, and emotional investment. Doing it there is just a short one week trip with no strings attached. The priest & the levite could have helped the beaten man, but that seems nowhere as exciting compared to what is in store for them in Jericho.

I think of my own life, how I'm always thinking of what I need to do to get to where I need to be. Always trying to get ahead and move forward, and seldom do I enjoy the present, rarely do I think about those I know in need, those that maybe I purposely avoid and neglect, like the priest and levite.

A lot of the times, I pray for God to give me opportunities and chances to make a difference, to do something great with my life, to change me, and I always expect this to come in big ways, or I expect things to just automatically happen. But Morgan Freeman (in "Evan Almighty") puts me in my place:

"Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"

The parable of the Good Samaritan isn't just about a guy that stopped to help a man in need. It is about a person who didnt find his own agenda too important to pay attention to those hurting around him. A person who aspires to make a difference and doesn't scoff at the insignificance of situations. It is a parable about a person who helped his neighbor -- helped with time, effort, care, emotional investment, and committment, helped even if it meant putting his own plans on hold.

Jesus finishes the parable, in typical Jesus fashion, with a command. Go, and do likewise, says He.


Carol

We will be there for our Robot

Here and there I'll get a glimpse of people's passion in life and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I think there's something incredibly romantic about one's passion no matter how big or small it may be. Maybe its because it makes me feel like no matter how different everyone is, we all have dreams that we put down in face of reality- and that just brings two people instantly close to each other. Or maybe its because when people talk about their passion, they let their guard down and pause all the shielding pretense.

I was deeply touched the night of the Oscars. Seeing the roomful of people that are connected by their love and dreams. Every thing that night originated from a small vision from all these individuals, and because they came together and worked hard, they were able to accomplish amazing things- pushing their own limits and the world's- making a difference. And for a moment there, those big time Hollywood stars were just the same as you and me.

My friend Megan works for this robot convention, two years in a row now we've visited her there. Its really a very random thing to attend, nothing you would normally associate me with. I'm not a big science person, robots don't particularly excite me. But seeing these teams of high school kids, hundreds of them, all there for the same reason- is incredible. These kids have spent hours upon hours perfecting their robots so that it could perform the assigned task. After months of preparation, their robots get shipped to the arena and they have 2 days before the competition to finish the robot on site. Each morning, you'll see kids faithfully waiting for the doors to be opened so they can tend to their robots. I think about how these kids are probably not the most popular ones at school, how high school can be so cruel and most of them will probably be regarded as geeks, the "weird kid" that's into robots instead of football, the outcast. But here at the arena, they are joined by hundreds of people that are just like them- they are at their Oscars. Megan got into a conversation with one of the groups- and it ended with the kids promising to be at the door at 7 AM the next morning waiting for the arena door to be opened. "We will be here for our robot", they said. Watching these kids doing what they are passionate about, their dedication to the task at hand, young kids taking responsibilty and ownership of their project... is so inspiring. It is my sincere wish that everyone have a robot that they can be there for.

Lillian

Inheriting Beauty

For my 24th birthday, my sister got me the book Inheriting Beauty. I think I've subconsciously put off reading it because part of me is afraid that I will feel inferior after reading a book full of beautiful/successful/fashionable women. As much as the book is meant to inspire and motivate, I was secretly afraid that I will come to the conclusion that, I, would never come close to being like them. It wasn't until last night when I was waiting for a couple of friend's arrival that I started flipping through the pages to kill time.

It is a very simple book. The beautifully taken photographs are accompanied by short descriptions of the women featured- mainly where they are from and what they do. There are no long interviews, no life stories, and you won't read about their struggles and hardships. At first I felt pretty disconnected with all the women in this book. Most of them seem to have been born with a golden spoon in their mouths. I don't doubt that they are all hard working women with incredible talent and strength, who deserve all the praise in the world- but they seem to come from a completely different universe and I could not associate myself with them. Then I noticed that some of the women have shared what they learned from their parents in their spread...

"My parents taught me discretion, curiosity, respect
and passion for family, art, dogs and food" -Segolene Gallienne

"My parents taught me taste for beauty and love for life" - Fiona Scarry

"My parents taught me honesty, diplomacy,

loyalty, effort and the value of things" -Cristian Valls

So I started to really examine my life to find out what I learned from my parents. Not something that they taught me, but something that I learned by watching them live their lives, something that I inherited. And surprisingly, the lessons just started pouring in after some meditation. Most of them I've never thought of before! (I will save these for a future post as this is turning into a novel)

Perhaps the book title, Inheriting Beauty, goes beyond the superficial things that these women are born into. Money, status, and good looks aside, we are all the same- originated from a mother's womb as helpless babies and growing up looking up to/ learning from our parents. Isn't it so true that the most precious gift a parent can give their child good values to guide them onto a dignified path for their own lives? Aren’t our principles and believes the most glorious display of beauty?

Have you ever thought of what lessons you've taken away from your parents' lives? Take time to find out what your inherited beauty is, I found it to be an extremely satisfying and insightful practice.

Lillian

How Great & How Bad

Though I am filled with high hopes for Jeremy and for who he'd become and what he'd do in life, I confess that I am also tainted with fear at the same prospect.It is true that everyone, no matter how big or small, famous or not, boy or girl, young or old, everyone was once a baby. An innocent, starry eyed, newborn baby. Every baby is presented with a blank slate and a fresh start. Every president...but also every prisoner.

And this is where the fear and the worry sets in. What if gets on the wrong track? What if he messes up? I begin to see how frail life is, how easy one can be great, but also how easy to be bad. And when I think of this, I am reminded of how frail life is, how much we need to depend on God, how we are so insignificant without God. And when I'm reminded of this, I'm brought to a place of dependence - dependence on God, dependence on prayer. The best thing I can do is pray. The only thing I can do is pray. Because in the future, not long from now, I will not be making decisions for him anymore. He will make choices for himself, probably without my consult, and each choice he makes will have its consequences. And when that time comes, I can only pray that God will guide his steps when I no longer hold his hand.

A Surgeon Fascination

Since working at Children’s Hospital, I’ve developed a crush, a fascination, and an insatiable curiosity on surgeons. (I say surgeons because from working with them, they’ve turned me snobby towards things like primary care physicians. Doctor ain't a doctor till there's scalpels involved.) I find their work fascinating and I am convinced that they lead not only interesting lives, but totally messed up lives. A person cannot cut open another being, mess around with the insides, and stitch them back up, without being totally messed up in the head. And to have as much power as a surgeon can have, to know that you’ve given someone a new nose or a new heart, that must make them think they’re substituting God to a degree, so no wonder the egos.

However messed up they may be, there is also admiration in my crush, because of how worthy their job is. How important. How respectable. While so many of us slave away at barely meaningful jobs never knowing what contribution we’re making to this world, a surgeon sees the difference he makes on a daily and personal basis.

And perhaps the fascination and wonder exists because they are something I’ll never be and can never be. Biology escapes me and the sight of a needle brings me to tears. So I will sit back and continue to admire for now, until Jeremy’s a bit older, and then I’ll do my best to make a surgeon out of him. Do you think it's too soon to introduce him to a scalpel? How bout we start with a stethoscope?

A promise to myself

I need to write/blog more often. This is my only way of clearing my thoughts and understanding myself, and somehow I've neglected journal-ing for almost a year now. I can actually feel that I'm losing myself, like I'm no longer in touch with the mind that is inside my body and I am just a walking piece of meat

Strange how life can be. A month ago I was feeling perfectly content and happy- with a stable job in this awful economy; loving friends; and projects waiting for me to finish. Life wasn't perfect but I had no complaints.

Today however, I feel completely empty and lonely. Wondering what life is all about, what I'm meant to do, and why I'm here. I'm crazy confused- Everything and everyone seems so far away, my dream seems so unattainable, and it feels like I'll never find love.

oh love.... that's another whole can of worms that I would rather not talk about right now.

Anways, starting today, I'm gonna write everyday, even if its just a short entry, because only with consistent self reflection will I be able to get a clear sight of whats to be done in my life. And even though I had a gloomy day, I shall remain hopeful that my brain will be making a comeback soon and the body and mind will join forces again.

Watch out because I will probably be pretty awesome then.

I Never Had it So Good

I’m pretty darn exhausted right now, but I feel compelled to write because I never have a free moment to do so unless Jeremy’s sleeping. And unfortunately, I never capitalize on his naps during the day. So though exhausted and burnt out tonight, I write.

I write to remember – to remember what it feels like to hold Jeremy in my arms, to remember Jeremy as a baby, to try and hang on to these fleeting days. Because I keep hearing all these moms tell me how they grow up so fast. And though I don’t know it now or believe that now, I know that I will one day. And that day will be when he’s already big. And I want to remember.

The days with Jeremy are passing by so fast that I haven’t had a moment to sit down and reflect on life post baby. When chatting with Will the other day, he caught me off guard when he asked me how my life has changed since Jeremy. And believe it or not, I really hadn’t thought about that until now.

Oh how life has changed since Jeremy’s arrived. Things are done with a purpose now; the purpose being Jeremy. “This is for Jeremy” is enough kick old/bad habits and enough to develop good ones. “I need to be a good example for Jeremy” is sufficient to make me apologize, or speak up for myself, or do the right thing. I gush at his smiles, his laugh, his wonder, his sleepiness, his alertness, his muttering gaga sounds. There are times when he’s wholly focused and in the moment with me, where he’ll stare deeply into my eyes and mine his and we’ll make baby sounds at one another as if telling one another how much we love each other, back and forth, and those moments make my heart melt and my eyes water.

I would’ve never been able to imagine life to be like this. That life now as a single mom is better than it ever was.

People of Excellence

There is an old Chinese saying that says ' people that goes near one who stays near vermilion gets stained red, and one who stays near ink gets stained black'. Meaning that one takes the behavior of one's company. Growing up, my dad (my brilliant dad whom I never give enough credit to) would always tell me how I need to make friends that are better than me (another Chinese saying that I can't remember at the moment). He would tell me that I need friends that I can learn from, instead of friends that I just have a good time with. I never understood it. To me, my friends are my friends - they are precious to me and I shouldn't weight our friendship based on how capable they are. I hated that he was so shallow and couldn't appreciate them. So I disregarded his words.

Years later, in a my college dorm room thousands of miles away from home, I heard Will Smith preach a similar message. He said something along the lines of 'if you want to know what kind of person someone is, all you have to do is look at their friends'. Somehow Will Smith's words put what my dad's been trying to tell me all my life in perspective, and I finally understood how important it is to be surrounded by people that you can look up to, to befriend people that you not only have a good time with but also respect because they have something valuable for you to learn. At the end of the day, what good are friends if they can't build each other up and open windows and doors for each other?

About a month ago, I read this on Jaeson Ma's blog and #35 (If people of excellence do not surround them) stuck out like a Vivienne Westwood creation. How blatantly beautiful and true! Friends are so important that a relationship deserves a second thought just because of it! You are who your friends are and if they're not great then you're not so great either!

Ever since then, I've been obsessed with finding these 'people of excellence'. People that I can oooo, ahhh, and awww over; people that inspire me to become better; people that trigger new ideas, so on so forth. Whether it is in real life, on Twitter, or even just reading a good book - I hope that by surrounding myself with these people(and great minds), I will one day be a person of excellence to someone else and inspire great things in them too.

Jewels

carol sometimes tries to convince me that arts and crafts is my calling. i dont think i would mind even if it were. i can still remember one of the games that i used to play as a little girl was pretending to be on a children's show teaching people how to make all kinds of little things. from cards, to pencil holders made from tissue rolls, to origami folding. i would have a table set up with paper, crayons, scissors, glue, etc. and i would explain the steps to my "audience" (which for the most part was nothing but a few stuffed animals) as i completed the project...


these days, arts and crafts have became my outlet, grounding me back to that little girl with the big table, reminding me that even if everyday life is tedious and repetitive, beautiful things are just right there waiting for me to create.

made this for carol's 23rd birthday, with Jolee's Swarovski jewels.
the locket opens to a picture of little jeremy. happy birthday carol!

A Father's Love

My first day back at work is tomorrow but at the moment I'm indulged in Rebecca Woolf's "Rockabye." I have this awful habit where if a book is good, I neglect all things and forget to put the book down.

In short, she is a 23 year old 'rockstar' sort of figure who suddenly finds out she is pregnant. Her and her boyfriend elope to Vegas and gets married, she then has a son named Archer. I just finished reading the chapter where she gave birth and she is now holding her son Archer in her arms. She writes:

"This is what it feels like to love somebody. However I defined love before now seems so terribly off. So not like this. When I look over at Hal (her husband), I know he knows. And I think how from this moment forward, no matter what happens, Hal will be the only person in the world who understands the way I feel. The only person in the history of histories who can look at Archer with the same eyes, no matter how differently we may look at each other or the world. I have never felt so close to anybody as I do right now with him, because we did this together."

I wonder if Jeremy's father would see Jeremy the way I do, if he were to see him now for the first time. Would he love him the way I do? Sacrifice for him the way I would? Would three months of separation change a father's love?.

It makes me sad that I don't have this other person to share this intimate experience with. It's true that the only other person that could fully feel for Jeremy the way I feel for him is his father. The only other person involved in creating this beautiful, perfect being has chosen to not be a part of his life or mine.

But then I look at Jeremy, I look at the way he smiles, the way he falls asleep, the way he looks into my eyes, and then I realize it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I don't have a husband to share this experience with, for I've gained something far better, I've gained a son.

Tribute to Rilke

I have truly come across a gem, Rainer Maria Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet."

'Turn therefore from the common themes to those which your own everyday life affords; depict your sorrows and desires, your passing thoughts and belief in some kind of beauty - depict all that with heartfelt, quiet, humble sincerity and use to express yourself the things that surround you, the images of your dreams and the objects of your memory.'

'If your everyday life seems poor to you, do not accuse it; accuse yourself, tell yourself you are not poet enough to summon up its riches; since for the creator there is no poverty and no poor or unimportant place. And even if you were in a prison whose walls allowed none of the sounds of the world to reach your senses - would you not still have always your childhood, that precious, royal richness, that reasure house of memories? Turn your attention there.'

Reading this thus far has encouraged me to stop being so afraid to write on a medium that reaches an anonymous audience. I believe the following sums it up best: 'And if from this turning inwards, from this sinking into your private world, there come verses, you will not think to ask anyone whether they are good verses... for you will see in them your own genuine possession, a portion and a voice of your life. A work of art is good if it has grown out of necessity.'

So with that said, I hope to finally muster the courage to indulge into my own musings, and then be able to translate these thoughts into words.