Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Hunt

Lately, I have been applying to jobs. For THE dream job. On average, I would say that I apply to 2-3 positions a day. In the midst of this job hunting frenzy, it becomes so easy to think, “If I only got that position, I would be so happy. Life would be so good. I would have made it.” It becomes so easy to associate your identity with a job.

You know you’ve made an idol out of something when you can’t stop thinking about it day and night. And when you can’t stop fantasizing about how happy it will make you. I’m constantly daydreaming about the font on my business cards, my title position, the office I’ll have and the assistant that needs to come along with it.

When I’m not applying for a job or writing a cover letter, I am looking for jobs to apply to. Day and night, I am seeking that perfect position that I am called to fulfill.

In the midst of this, I was reminded that the final destination is not the window office. Tonight, as I was rushing to get Jeremy into bed so I can resume the job search, God imprinted a passage on my heart:

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

I’ve been seeking jobs much more frantically and passionately than I’ve been seeking God. In any given day, I devote 3 hours doing things that are job-hunting related. Doing things that are God related, like even bothering to read the bible? 30 minutes. At best.

Hearing this song by Phil Whickam was what also brought me back to reality tonig
ht. I was captivated by it and for the first time in days, I felt at peace. I realized that whether jobless or career-driven, homeless or living in my dream house, none of that can shake the love God has for me. None of that changes how God sees me. My identity isn't in what I do.

“Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”




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